Starting school is a big step for children and parents alike.

While many families spend time preparing for practical things like uniforms, lunchboxes and school routines, one of the most important parts of school readiness is often less visible: emotional readiness.

For some children, particularly those with a developmental delay, communication challenges, anxiety or difficulties managing emotions, starting school can feel exciting but also overwhelming.

The good news is that emotional confidence isn’t something children either have or don’t have. It develops over time through relationships, everyday experiences and supportive adults who help children learn to understand and manage their feelings.

When children feel emotionally supported and confident, they’re often better able to:

• Build friendships
• Participate in classroom activities
• Manage challenges
• Follow routines
• Adapt to new experiences
• Develop resilience and independence

These skills form an important foundation for a positive transition to school and future learning success.

What Does Emotional Readiness for School Mean?

When parents ask, “Is my child emotionally ready for school?”, they’re often thinking about much more than behaviour.

Emotional readiness refers to a child’s developing ability to:

• Recognise and express emotions
• Cope with disappointment and frustration
• Follow routines and expectations
• Manage separation from parents and caregivers
• Build social connections
• Recover from setbacks
• Adapt to new situations
• Ask for help when needed

Children don’t need to master all of these skills before starting school. In fact, school itself helps children continue developing these abilities.

What matters most is that children are gradually building the emotional foundations that help them participate, learn and feel connected.

Evidence-Based School Readiness Insight

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW), a child’s successful transition to school is influenced by multiple developmental domains, including:

• Social competence
• Emotional maturity
• Communication skills
• Physical health and wellbeing
• Language and cognitive skills

The AIHW notes that these domains are considered crucial factors that affect a child’s readiness to make a successful transition to primary school. A child’s development when they start school is also strongly associated with how they continue through their primary school years.

Why Emotional Development Matters for School Readiness

Children experience a lot of change when they start school.

They suddenly need to navigate:

• New teachers
• New friendships
• Unfamiliar environments
• New sensory experiences
• Different routines
• Classroom expectations
• Busy playgrounds
• Greater independence

That’s a lot for a young child to manage.

When children have strong emotional foundations, they are often better able to:

• Cope with unexpected challenges
• Join group activities
• Build friendships
• Manage frustration
• Problem-solve independently
• Feel confident trying new things

What the Research Says

Research from Be You, Australia’s national mental health and wellbeing initiative for learning communities, highlights that social and emotional learning helps children:

• Understand and manage emotions
• Develop healthy relationships
• Build self-awareness
• Navigate challenges
• Strengthen resilience
• Thrive in learning environments

Be You also notes that strong social and emotional skills are linked to improved learning outcomes, mental health and overall wellbeing.

Common Signs Your Child May Need Additional Support Before Starting School

Every child develops at their own pace.

However, parents may wish to seek advice if their child:

• Experiences significant anxiety about starting school
• Finds separating from parents or caregivers extremely difficult
• Has frequent emotional outbursts
• Struggles to regulate emotions
• Finds social situations challenging
• Has difficulty making or maintaining friendships
• Becomes overwhelmed by changes in routine
• Has significant difficulties with transitions
• Has a diagnosed or suspected developmental delay
• Frequently avoids new experiences due to fear or anxiety

Experiencing one or more of these challenges doesn’t mean something is wrong. Instead, it may simply indicate that your child could benefit from additional support and strategies before school begins.

The Emotional Skills Children Develop Before School

Understanding Feelings

Before children can regulate emotions, they first need to recognise them.

This means learning to identify feelings such as:

• Happy
• Sad
• Excited
• Frustrated
• Nervous
• Proud
• Disappointed

Parents can help by naming and normalising different emotions throughout everyday experiences. For example:

“You look really disappointed that playtime is finished.”

“You seem proud of how hard you worked on that puzzle.”

When children hear emotional language regularly, they develop a stronger understanding of their own feelings and those of others.

Emotional Regulation

One of the most important school readiness skills is emotional regulation.

Emotional regulation isn’t about preventing children from experiencing big feelings. It’s about helping them learn what to do when those feelings arise.

Children are learning to:

• Wait their turn
• Manage frustration
• Recover after disappointment
• Cope with changes
• Handle mistakes
• Navigate conflict

These skills take time to develop and continue evolving throughout childhood.

Expert Insight: Emotional Regulation Starts with Understanding Feelings

The Raising Children Network, one of Australia’s most trusted evidence-based parenting resources, explains that recognising and naming emotions helps children understand what they’re feeling and lays the groundwork for emotional regulation.

Children who develop emotional awareness are more likely to:

• Express emotions appropriately
• Bounce back after disappointment
• Control impulses
• Build positive relationships
• Develop independence and resilience

The Raising Children Network describes emotional regulation as an important part of children’s overall self-regulation and wellbeing.

Social Skills and Friendships

Making friends is one of the biggest hopes many parents have when their child starts school.

Social skills help children:

• Share
• Take turns
• Listen to others
• Join group activities
• Understand social cues
• Resolve disagreements
• Build positive relationships

Some children develop these skills naturally. Others, particularly children with developmental delays or communication difficulties, may need more support and practice.

Confidence and Independence

Confidence grows through experience.

Children develop confidence when they:

• Try something new
• Solve a problem
• Recover from mistakes
• Make choices
• Experience success

Parents can support confidence by encouraging children to take on age-appropriate challenges and celebrating effort rather than perfection.

How Parents Can Build Emotional Resilience at Home

One of the most encouraging things for families is that emotional skills can be built during everyday routines.

Talk About Feelings Every Day

Simple conversations about naming emotions help children develop emotional awareness.

Discuss:

• Your own feelings
• Books and stories
• Daily experiences
• Challenges and successes

These conversations build emotional vocabulary, self-awareness and help children to organise their feelings.

Role Play School Situations

Practise situations such as:

• Asking a teacher for help
• Introducing yourself to a new friend
• Joining a game
• Managing disappointment

Role-playing allows children to rehearse unfamiliar social situations before they occur in real life.

Build Predictable Routines

Consistency helps children feel safe and secure.

Predictable routines can:

• Reduce anxiety
• Increase independence
• Build confidence
• Prepare children for school expectations

Create a Calm-Down Toolkit

Every child benefits from learning strategies to manage emotions.

Examples include:

• Deep breathing
• Drawing
• Reading
• Listening to calming music
• Sensory activities
• Movement
• Quiet spaces

Focus on Connection First

When children experience big emotions, they often need connection before correction.

Simple statements such as:

“I’m here with you.”

“That feels really hard right now.”

“That sounds like it would have been difficult, let’s work through it together.”

can help children feel supported and understood.

How Psychology Can Support School Readiness

Psychologists help children build the emotional regulation skills that support learning, participation and wellbeing.

Support may focus on:

• Understanding and managing emotions
• School anxiety
• Separation anxiety
• Confidence building
• Resilience
• Social skills and navigating friendships
• Behaviour support
• Managing transitions

Learn more about Early Start Australia’s Psychology services.

Supporting the Whole Child

School readiness often involves more than one area of development.

Children may also benefit from support with communication, sensory processing, physical development, independence skills or social participation.

Occupational Therapy

Supports emotional regulation, sensory processing and independence.

Speech Pathology

Supports communication, language development and social communication.

Physiotherapy

Supports movement confidence, balance and physical participation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Final Thought

Big feelings are a normal part of growing up.

When children learn to understand their emotions, build coping skills and develop confidence in their ability to handle challenges, they’re developing important foundations not only for school, but for life.

If you’re concerned about your child’s emotional wellbeing, school readiness or development, Early Start Australia is here to help. Our multidisciplinary team of Speech Pathologists, Occupational Therapists, Physiotherapists and Psychologists work alongside families to help children build the skills, confidence and independence they need to thrive at home, at school and in their communities.

Learn More About Early Start Australia

🔗 https://www.earlystartaustralia.com.au/

Find Your Nearest Clinic

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